You Call This Romance?

Tonight I went on a date with a guy from Nigeria. He calls himself a real romantic, yet he made me go dutch on our very first date (which he had invited me on).

Quite frankly, I've never really thought that a guy should ALWAYS pay, but it's always nice when on the first date, he makes that gesture. It's kind of traditional, which also makes it sweet, not like "I'm the man and therefore the provider". More like "I asked you to spend the evening with me, so I will get this one. Because I also like you!"

Now in every other respect he was quite chivalrous on the date, and I've been home not quite two hours and he has already texted and called me to tell me how much he enjoyed himself.

Am I missing the point here? Does it really matter who pays on the date, if everything else goes as you would like? Or does going halfsies really kill the romance?

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Mikell311
if everything else went well, you shouldn't let one little thing like this ruin it. maybe he doesn't like to pay for the gal on the first date because you can't always tell if a gal is going to stick around after one night out.
Workaholic Hostess
That would really put me off. It just leaves a bad taste in your mouth.
Steve Betz

Going Dutch kills kills kills romance, I think. Unless you'd guys had planned something extravagant where there was a pre-arrangement to share costs -- the guy must pick up the check.

StupidCupid
Aren't the chances of me sticking around increased if I'm wined and dined a little? He did talk about himself a little too much in the beginning but other than that he was a pleasant date. I might not have noticed it so much if he had been willing to pay for my $6 burrito and a lemonade...
StupidCupid
[this is good]
Wow, so nice to get a guy's perspective that works in my favor! LOL. But I agree with you - especially for the first date or the first few dates...it's just what guys do. And it's nice. He is a grad student, but he also wasn't shy about telling me he had made a lot of money with his internship, so I'm not worried that he is destitute. Besides, we got tacos and saw a movie. Not exactly four courses at a fancy restaurant followed by opera...
ancora impara

Here's another guy's perspective:

Any guy who initiates a date, and then expects the woman to pay half, while talking about how much money he's making, is a cheapskate and a crumb. Run, don't walk, in the opposite direction.

Let me say this in another, less colloquial way. This man is not a gentleman. No woman of merit deserves less than a gentleman.

Cori
I don't mind going Dutch....after the first date or two. Maybe I'm old fashioned, but I just like it when a guy pays on a first date. Especially if it's cheap!
Mikell311
It was tacos and a movie? that changes things a bit. Yeah, he should have paid. Making you pay for something that cheap is definitely not gentlemanly.

Alixito
OK yah, for a burrito and a movie and he didn't even pay???! That is friggin' cheap. (Sorry I'm just catching up on your blog so I'm a little slow here). It'd be a huge difference if you had suggested a very expensive restaurant and offered to pay half. But come on, he can't even pay for you when it's like uner $20? RUN from this cheapskate.

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