Posts (page 2)

The perfect antidote to a bad date is one of the following:

1. Retail therapy (i.e., new clothes)
2. A night with your girlfriends
3. A good date with someone else.

Woohoo, three out of three all in one weekend!

I have been waiting to meet D, a computer engineer (Indian) for a few weeks now. We've hit it off over chat and phone and email, but you just never know until you meet up with someone. Finally our schedules coordinated and we had our first date.

What a gentleman!!! He picked me up and held the door open for me. He took me to a really nice (not cheap) restaurant. He paid. He took me out for drinks and complimented me on my outfit and held my hand. We talked and laughed. Then he paid.

We then took a walk along the Charles River and he held my hand some more and told me what a great time he had. He asked if he could kiss me (normally I would rather the guy just press me up against the doorway and go for it, but there was something sweet about his hesitation. Besides we were by a river and there was no door to be pinned against) His kiss was as sweet as he was, and I mean, how romantic to have a first kiss as you are taking a stroll along the riverside! I swooned a little.

He drove me home and he walked me to my door. He kissed me again and said we should make plans again soon. He would talk to me tomorrow.

Now, see this Nigergia guy? This is how it's DONE!

In other news I bought some new clothes so I was feeling pretty darn cute tonight. And tomorrow I get a good old fashioned Sex and the City watching gab fest with some girlfriends. Dating Diva is having a good weekend!

Tonight I went on a date with a guy from Nigeria. He calls himself a real romantic, yet he made me go dutch on our very first date (which he had invited me on).

Quite frankly, I've never really thought that a guy should ALWAYS pay, but it's always nice when on the first date, he makes that gesture. It's kind of traditional, which also makes it sweet, not like "I'm the man and therefore the provider". More like "I asked you to spend the evening with me, so I will get this one. Because I also like you!"

Now in every other respect he was quite chivalrous on the date, and I've been home not quite two hours and he has already texted and called me to tell me how much he enjoyed himself.

Am I missing the point here? Does it really matter who pays on the date, if everything else goes as you would like? Or does going halfsies really kill the romance?

 
The other night when I was on my date with The Artist, I spotted The Football Player out of the corner of my eye. He was at the same taqueria with one his friends. He wasn''t hard to miss as he is 6'3", 250 pounds, and one of the loudest people I've ever met. I don't think he knows that I spotted him, because I kept really focused on the Artist the whole time. But from the corner of my eye I could see him looking at me every so often when his friend was talking. I wonder if he was thinking "Oh, so when I forgot to call her after canceling our date because I made myself sick from partying too much, she didn't become a nun and stop seeing other men?"

Five Things I Will Not Tolerate from Men Any Longer:

1. Flakiness and not being reliable
2. Lack of good communication/not calling when he says he will
3. Inattentiveness
4. Lack of showing the proper amount of appreciation for me and my awesomeness
5. Immaturity 

Five Things I Want from My Next Boyfriend

1. An adorable man who makes me feel special
2. Rings me every day
3. Follows through on his promises
4. At the end of the date, makes firm plans to see me again next time
5. Patience and is happy to let the relationship progress at a relaxed pace. In other words, a gentleman.

Tonight I had a date with The Artist, a guy who I've seen before and who I've been talking to on and off. The pros with this guy are that he's really creative (filmmaker, songwriter, producer, musician), very affectionate and romantic, and seems like he really just wants to make me happy. The cons are that he's really too busy to be dating (it took us a month to have a second date!) and he's quite a bit older than me. He's also got that quality that is just kind of unnerving. I don't really know how I feel about him to be quite honest. When he kissed me tonight, I was thinking "wow, he's a great kisser" and not "wow, i really like kissing him". There's a difference there, you know?

But the big PRO to this guy is that he is Spanish and Cuban and tonight he taught me some Spanish. I speak French so I feel like I could pick this up, so we just started conversing and had a conversation...kind of...in in a sort of weird combination of English, Spanish and Francais...Spanglishais?

But only if he's Muslim, ladies. Only if he's Muslim.

Today I was driving to work (something I hardly ever do as I live in BOSTON, land of Confused GPS Systems) and was listening to the morning radio show on JAMN 94.5 with Ramiro (the freakin' Peurto Rican) and co-hosts Pebbles and Melissa. My favorite part of the show is always when Ramiro leaves (he's funny but needs to let the women talk more) and Pebs and Mel (my secret nicknames because I feel like if we got to know each other we'd all be BFFs) do their "Ladies Room" segment. Today's topic was "The Best Way to Break Up with a Guy".

Melissa suggested telling him you have a new man, while Pebs was straight up an "I'm just not interested" kind of a gal. Both agreed that it should be quick and as painless as possible. Then they opened the floor for suggestions. I couldn't BELIEVE what some of the women who called in proposed!

Caller #1: "I've never broken up with anyone I've dated. You have to make them break up with you. Make it seem like it's your fault. It will boost their ego and you're in the clear."

Pebbles: "Well, how do you get the guy to break up with you? What if he doesn't take the hint?"

Caller #1: "Just do a bunch of stuff he doesn't like. Such as for instance, right now I'm dating a muslim guy. So if I wanted to break up with him, see, it's against their religion to eat pork right? So I'd just cook him up some pork!"

Dating Diva (to herself): Did I ever accidentally eat pork in front of Mr. Morocco?

In all seriousness...what??? What is this lady talking about?? Is she serious? And the next caller totally agreed with her, but went so far as to say that if a guy won't  leave you alone you should just change your number and change your locks, avoid all places he might be, etc. etc.

Sorry but this is way too much work and totally unnecessary. As my favorite caller put it, "Just tell a guy it's not going to work out and if he doesn't get the hint, ask one of your guy friends to call him and tell him to leave you alone". I agree completely. It's mean and cowardly to drive someone to break it off with you, and just weird to cut someone off so completely like that.

Plus, like Pebbles said, I LOVE my number. No way am I changing it for some guy!

But always remember that if you are dating a Muslim stalker who won't go away, you can always scare him away by feeding him some pork cooked in alcohol or something...

Guys, I thought I'd heard it all.

"I'm just not ready for a relationship"

"It's not you, it's me"

"I have herpes"

All very good reasons to stop seeing someone (and for the record the last one was just a joke). But I've just now heard the. funniest. excuse. ever.

So the Lone Ranger was a really cute Indian guy (yes yes, I know I have an Indian guy obsession. More details on that in a future post) who I met about a month ago and we dated for a couple of weeks. Nothing major obviously but I was a little bit smitten. Then of course he fell off the face of the earth.

I decided this time not to let the guy get away with it. So I basically wrote this in an email:

Dear Lone Ranger:

Hi, this is the Dating Diva, that girl from a couple of weeks ago. Did you move back to India? What gives?

Peace out,

Stupid Cupid

Are you ready? His reply (in a very condensed version) was:

Dear Diva,

Of course I remember you...I feel very bad that I haven't called. My mother wants to arrange a marriage for me and she has been sending me pictures of girls to consider. I know it sounds stupid but they are my parents. So I think I need some time and I didn't think it was appropriate to date anyone until I can convince them that I should be able to pick my life partner.

Lone Ranger

***

Well then....

...When you can't even remember from which site you met someone.

This happened to me a few weeks ago and I've just been bad about posting, but I have to share a funny story with you all. I was approached by someone on PlentyofFish and we ended up exchanging IM names. Later on he sends me an IM. We will call this guy Clueless.

Clueless: Hi

Diva: Hi

Clueless: How are you?

Diva: Fine how are you?

Clueless: Good. What is your profile ID again?

Diva: Huh?

Clueless: On Yahoo personals?

*Note that I don't belong to Yahoo personals

Diva: Um, I don't have an account there

Clueless: Oh...which site is it again?

I just laughed and took him off my chat list. Clearly this guy has an online chatting and dating problem if he can't keep all his anonymous ladies straight in his head. Too funny.

Recently, I had a conversation with my good friend Lora, who always has smart things to say about guys and relationships. I told her about a guy who I met recently and how, in the course of two weeks, we met, went out twice, talked every day (either on the phone or online, as he would be online every day pretty much), and in my mind things were pretty great. I actually had butterflies about this guy.

Last Friday he called, we chatted for a bit and before we hung up he said "I'll call you this weekend". It seemed like we might try and get together. Interestingly enough, he never called, and seems to have fallen off the face of the planet. He's never online, and I haven't heard from him at all.

So what happened? Lora tells me I got "Lone Rangered". It's a phrase she and her friends have come up with to describe the disappearing act so many men like to engage in.

She summed it up: "You don't know where he came from, or where he went. He remains a mystery." And it's so true! This guy left with no goodbye, no explanation, no reason, and "on a fiery horse with the speed of light, a cloud of dust, and a hearty Hi-ho Silver and Away!"

Who was that masked man? It was the Lone Ranger.

For the first time in awhile I've got the first-date jitters. It's that deliciously uncomfortable feeling in the pit of your stomach before you go to meet somebody for the first time. For on-line daters such as myself, this has the added nervousness of never having met someone face to face, yet agreeing to spend an evening in his company.

The feeling is filled with hope and fear, nervousness and excitement, all at once. I love it for the burst of adrenelaine it gives me, but I hate it for the anxiousness it can cause. So many questions are running through my mind: will we like each other as well in person as we do over the phone or online? What will we talk about? Will we kiss? Should we kiss? Did he shave?

At the end of the day, I'm thankful to have this feeling again. It means I've broken past the drought phase and I'm back in the swing of things - even if my swing is a bit more like a nervous jerk right now.

Sorry folks. I know it's been awhile.

First I was spurned in love by a handsome man. Well, more like Mr. Morrocco never called me again (for a second time...curses, I fell for it twice!), then I decided to take a break from online dating. And then my computer broke! So needless to say I've been out of commission for awhile.

Which brings us to that loveliest of lovely holidays. Valentine's Day. Also known as VD or Black Thursday. Such a charming holiday. It reminds those of us who are single what we don't have, and puts unnecessary stress on couples to make it the most romantic day of their lives, when really all they want to do after a long day of working hard and eating too much sugar is to veg out and watch Lost. So all in all, who is really benefiting here? Greeting card and candy companies, florists, and jewelers. Natch.

But the truth is, I've never had a "valentine". When you were a kid it was all so simple. You brought a valentine for everyone in your class and you made a heart-shaped envelop for everyone to put their cards to you in. So everyone got the same amount and felt equally loved. That is really what VD should be about anyway, but as you get older, it becomes much more about having a romantic partner to share the day with. I always feel a bit jealous when I see couples being all swoony with each other on VD, although on the surface I know it is a ridiculous excuse for Hallmark to make a profit. But still...

Let's move on to a less bitter life. I spent the evening watching The Princess Bride at the Coolidge Corner theater with a girlfriend and then we gorged on pizza, which I think is an excellent way to spend VD. I've decided after a month or so on hiatus I'm ready to get back into dating (I just need some amazingly intelligent and handsome men to find their way to me), work is going really well, I have awesome friends, I go to the gym all the time now, and I have a great new idea for a novel.

The Dating Diva is back, so watch out world!